Climate, Chaos, and Fresh seafood

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Climate. Sitting in Coach Harper’s 9th grade geography class, gazing out of the open window at the lazy spring clouds, I was blissfully ignorant of the evil and impending catastrophe brewing in the innards of the planet. At that point in my life, I was more aware of clouds and cars and the female members of the 9th grade. Mercifully, my generation had not yet encountered Al Gore, and we had never even heard the word "environment". Our discussion in class that day covered the deserts and oceans of the world and the seasons and that about covered the climate subject for the 9th grade, and that was about all we needed. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that the subject of "climate" would become such a swamp of boiling controversy as it is today. As I sat on the porch of the cabin on a perfect, peaceful Sunday afternoon pondering the space and time continuum of climate and nature, I could tell nap time was fast approaching. Sure enough I drifted away, and the next thing I heard was a heated discussion between a mildly irate Mockingbird and a Brown Thrasher concerning the early arrival of the Robin crowd. Their comments were not nice. Something about short winters and supply chain problems and lazy worms, and who do these red-breasted wonders think they are barging in down here on our favorite dining spots and taking over the best places to stay? I wondered what could be causing such devisivness in the bird nation? I walked down to the pond and threw some catfish pellets in (because that’s the only floating pellets I can find around here, #empty shelves), and the brim just kind of looked up like they were highly insulted with the same old menu and spit out the pellet and streaked off. An indifferent rabbit, so fat he waddled more than he walked, sat down on the dock. “You know,” he said, “this is a tough time for the animal kingdom. We usually are still on winter break right now, but the clover and choice weeds are already coming up and turning green. I gotta eat it. It's in my contract. What am I gonna do when people’s vegetable gardens and flowers start coming up? I can’t handle it man!” His desperation was obvious. Well, Al “Growling” Gore said it was gonna happen, and Alexandria “Occasionally Coherent” Cortez with her back-up singers "The Squad" said uh huh too. “We only have about ten years before the oceans boil over,” they shrieked! Well, you just can’t argue with great minds and clueless predictions like that. The "experts" chimed in shaking their fingers to say that there will be a half a degree rise in the mean temperature of the earth’s oceans by the end of the century! Well, that does it. Pack your bags, and get me a ticket outta here on the next Star Trek Greyhound for Jupiter. OK, I understand. I believe in science, and I am not a climate change denier. But here's my position. A long time ago, people grew up without the need to blame everything on somebody else. People accepted and adapted to the world as they found it and did the best they could. That doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to strive for a better world, but it also means that the "sky is falling" argument is not going to get us anywhere. If we could get ol' Al to turn down the volume a little, get the "green new deal" folks to come up with a realistic, workable schedule for transitioning this country to renewable energy and do it all in a financially prudent way, then success may be possible. But if that fails, I think I'll just hang around right here with the fat rabbits and the Robin-hating Mockingbird and all the other inhabitants who seem to be working things out okay. Let the climate change and let the oceans boil over and roll on up the 'Hoopie. We'll be right here watching for it and waiting for the grouper and tilapia and fresh wild shrimp to get to Emanuel County. Bon appeit !