It seems like love stories are meant for the movies, right? The hard truth is that most are. One reason being because new generations have changed their way of thinking, feeling and living. Love doesn’t seem to hold much depth anymore. The unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another is lost through technology and egotistical behaviors. Sweet, secretive glances exchanged across a room have been replaced by Tinder swipes and Instagram likes. Long love letters have become Snapchat messages and DMs. Taking that keepsake value away from the “how we met story” that you may eventually tell your grandkids. Nowadays the moment you spot someone that you’re attracted to, your first instinct is to search for them online, even if they’re within arm’s reach. Memories are now replaced with moments on social media and instead of living in the moment, we live through posts. The emotional connection, the physical intimacy, the expression of love, well it's still there but it’s shared with a virtual world. We’ve been deprived of simplicity and because of this, love and life quite literally just aren’t what it used to be. Fortunately for one adored Swainsboro couple, they understand the significance of love because they have been living an old-fashioned American romance for years now and together share an achingly tender story about its enduring power that is just as timeless and swoon worthy as that of Allie and Noah’s, the protagonists of Nicholas Sparks novel The Notebook. In fact, their tale is so relatable that as they recounted their story to me, I realized how profound their connection with the characters and their narrative is, as both of their accounts and current situations are all at once heartwarming and heartbreaking. So, in honor of this belated Valentine’s Day, it’s only befitting that we shine the spotlight on these treasured sweethearts who are a testament of how love can overcome any number of barriers that life and time may throw their way and we hope that you learn the importance of it’s meaning while reading their heart-warming words, because love is a privilege and to have someone who you can share such an emotion with, that’s a God given gift. “Y'all bring up a chair. My name is Raymond, and her name is Ava.” Meet 92-year-old Raymond and 87-year-old Ava Riner. Soulmates who refuse to partake in life without the other by their side. So much so that when “Miss” Ava was diagnosed with dementia and put into a retirement home located in Statesboro, Mr. Raymond admitted himself as a patient there along with her. Ensuring that whatever struggle she may experience he would be by her side, holding her hand through every second of every minute of it, so that she would never have to go through the troubles alone. “It’s not about the length of time, or the difficulties you may have together. It’s about the commitment you promised them.” Raymond was quoted as saying during our visit. But the rules of the retirement center known as Gentilly Gardens made that commitment difficult, when the doctors and staff assured him time and time again that the two of them must stay separated due to Ava’s illness. “Because one of us was okay and the other was not, they said that we could never be together again.” Raymond solemnly explained. Ava was required to live in the Alzheimer's unit of the facility while Raymond was placed in the assisted living area, separated hallways and memories between the love of his life. The heartache of distance started to wear on him, causing issues and weariness to the point where he ultimately began needing the same care that he was trying to provide Ava with, but he never allowed his health to neglect his goal of being with his one true love. Staying true to his promises that he vowed to her in 1973 and reminding us that ``If a man is interested, no distance, sickness or obstacles will stand in his way of being with the one he loves.” Regardless of protocol and the doctor's orders, Raymond insisted every day that he had to be with his wife. There was no other way around it. Persistent that they were going to be together again so that he could provide her with the attention and bedside manner that he promised when they were united. Staying true to his word, his wishes were fulfilled when their family moved them to Summer Willow in February of 2021, a retirement center in Nunez where the two of them currently reside in a shared room together. As Whitley and I entered their room, we were greeted by two beautiful faces that held so much wisdom, kindness and experience. They were sitting next to one another in two identical rockers, holding hands and enjoying each other’s company. I felt as though I had stepped into a future that I could only dream of. “We’ll try to tell y'all somebody's story anyway.” Sweet Ava told us through a kind smile. Now, grab some tissues. You're going to need them. “She’s 87 and I’m '90 something',” Raymond began. “When asked how they first met, Mr. Raymond snickered, “Courtin’, how does anybody first meet?” Raymond and Ava’s story began in the summer on the southern east coast, just as Allie and Noah’s had, when their paths crossed at a Shellmans Bluff restaurant where Ava worked as a waitress. “I had bought a house in that area and had a job there and that’s where we met.” Ava explained. While Raymond claimed that he felt an undeniable attraction to her, as if she were the only woman in the world. “I’ll never forget the first time that I saw her or how she looked in that moment. I fell head over heels for her pretty quickly.” Their encounter was truly an action of fate as neither of them were from the picturesque fishing village. “She’s from Arizona. I was born and raised right here in Emanuel County.” Raymond explained. “I moved down to Georgia with my momma.” Ava followed. “I’ve honestly lived all over the place, from Florida, to California, to Arizona. Truth be told it was really a blessing from the heavens that I ended up in South Georgia where Raymond and I found each other.” Not long after, they got married. “She was a keeper. So, I went to where she was staying and told her to get ready because we’re going to get married!” Raymond brought an inconceivable light to our faces as he recounted his straightforward proposal, including Ava’s who when asked if she remembered that day or moment, she fought through her memory to say, “That sounds about right.” Mr. Ralph Riner was the preacher for their wedding and a man who they both say, helped them become the living testimony that they are today. “I think we’ve been together 48 years, right baby?” Raymond asked Ava. “It’s been about that long, yeah.” Ava replied. Displaying an inspiring sentiment of how true love never wavers amid confusion and mental decay. “It’s not about the length of time, it’s about the commitment and all I know is that I haven’t left her side since.” He told us before painting a gaze in her direction. “He’s been good to me. He's not one of these husbands that make you feel about an inch tall. He loves me for who I am and has never tried to make me feel any different.” Ava said. The way his eyes shined when he looked at her, the way he held her hand. There was no other way to put it than the fact that they were meant for one another and exactly where they needed to be. “Anywhere I've gotten in life I owe it all to her and God. She’s a beautiful woman, isn’t she? I still have her hair fixed once a week because I always want her to feel as happy as she makes me feel.” Their life, though beautiful and inspiring, has had its share of heartache and trivial times. “I would have never gotten sober if it hadn't been for her. My wife was every bit my driving force.” Raymond recounted the days when Alcoholism played the biggest role in his life and Ava gave him the ultimatum of being an alcoholic forever or being her husband. A decision that not only changed his life but thousands of lives and the long-term outcome of an entire community, for the better. “Several years ago, a man named David Barnette came up with the idea to create a halfway center for anyone suffering from addiction. We were both drunks who knew the impact that one difference in our life could make. So, we started a house where addicts could go and receive help with their detox. We pay for their living expenses until we can help find them a better means of income. Right now, we have 25 men in those three houses. They’ve all gotten a job, so they support themselves. We try to do our best to try to teach them how to live but the thing is, we can only do our best. We’re not always successful. Most of them get in there and stay about 30 minutes then leave and end up right back where they were. Still, we have hope that we can help and if you’ve changed one life then you’ve done something right.” An act that has changed the lives of many! Lighting a path to healing by helping our community get state funding for a medically supervised detox facility on Anderson Drive and establishing a place for suffering addicts and their family members to reside until their clean. Over the years, thousands of people have benefitted from Raymonds life of service, whether it would be financial or prophetic, he always followed wherever God led him, and he says his biggest contributor to that, is Ava. “She saved me. I’ve been in AA for 43 years now and if I hadn't learned how to live when she asked me to get myself together and join AA, I would have killed myself. It sounds terrible and it is terrible, but the program truly introduced me to God who is helping me walk this journey that we’ve had to go through. Overall, we're doing dang good. If I hadn't gotten into the AA program and learned how to live, both of us would've been gone. I would have been too rough on her, and she would have been too rough on me.” Ava says that his methods to help others never came between their relationship but made it stronger. An impactful achievement that has given them a lifetime together and earned Raymond the Hometown Hero Award for his act of service to our community. “What he was doing didn't interfere with our marriage because I believed in his cause, so I ended up getting involved myself. You must remember that perfection is a word. You can’t expect it in everything especially a person and if you want peace you have to give peace to help them understand peace. That takes selflessness. If he needs help, I don’t hesitate to come to his side and vice versa. When you’re married, married means two and you’re working as two. You’re not doing everything for yourself. It’s a give and take.” They went on to express how multiple tragedies have completely altered their family but their love and support for one another is ultimately what helped them get through the darkest period of their lives. “Don’t take a thing for granted. We’ve lost the most irreplaceable of things, without understanding why and without trying to question it for the sake of our souls. And believe me, it’s not easy. Hear me when I say, it’s not easy! We’ve endured a lot of heartache, truly the most traumatic kind. But, if you can go through all that and still hold your head up, that’s a blessing. And God has truly blessed us with one another to lean on. Even in the most trying times, the love we have for one another always comes through.” Raymond explained. Ava continued his message by saying, “We don’t take everything for granted, good or bad. We share that. If one gets into a problem stage, then the other comes and helps them to overcome it. You can’t always save yourself.” They stayed together, saving each other from falling to pieces with their support and love, despite the many indescribable hardships and heart-breaking scenarios that many of us could never imagine. Setting a standard for the true meaning of love. “It’s a beautiful thing when you see a family come together through all the harsh, unexpected things that the world will throw at them. All in all, we’ve had a stupendous marriage. We don’t always agree but we never fuss and she's the biggest part of my life.” Raymond said while Ava followed with a wink, “I mind real good.” The visit ended with Raymond looking over at the love of his life to admire her. Ava then said, “We’ve had a good marriage. We’re not rich or anything but we have each other and that makes us the wealthiest people I know. To which he concluded with, “Me and that lady there have had a good life and I don’t regret a minute of it.” When they went into the assisted living home together, Mr. Raymonds sole intention was to be there to take care of Mrs. Ava. Now, even with dementia, she’s taking care of him. Every morning, she helps him get dressed, takes him to the bathroom, and ensures that he eats and takes his medicine... Then five minutes later she’s forgotten all about it. They’re literal embodiments of how when memories fade, only time can show the true value of what once was. I hope this encourages you to appreciate your Valentine's more and admire their faces and all the good that they represent in your life, while you still have them around to remember. Hug someone a little harder and longer today and when the tough times get too close for comfort remember the truth behind that pretty famous line that Noah said, “It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday. “ Happy Valentines Day!
