She makes more money

by | September 30, 2014 3:46 pm

by DR. ELAINE LAWRENCE WYNN

When a woman makes more money in the relationship, it not only means she must have thick skin but also be confident in her own abilities, the stabilization of her relationship, and focused on what matters most to her. Making more money doesn’t necessarily mean that she “wears the pants.” Yet because society has seduced man into believing that he is the breadwinner (provider), anything short of that makes him feel insecure or less than a man. Thus, women bringing more income into the home can really have a negative impact on the couple unless the relationship is one in which both partners, perfectly aware of the trade-offs (in areas such as household chores, financial decisions, and parenting) embrace and welcome the woman making the larger salary. This is not always easy, even for couples in healthy relationships because they may find themselves being looked down upon by coworkers and relatives that maintain that 1960 “Leave it to Beaver” mentality. Criticism can be harsh for the nontraditional roles but that’s where the power of two can put ten thousand to flight. When you and your partner join together as one force and have the ability to ignore unsolicited advice and remain focused on what works best for your relationship, you have the ability to penetrate all obstacles. 

   On the other hand, for the man that just cannot get past the thought of his woman making a higher salary, his self-worth is usually under attack. Extreme stress (the emotional roller coaster) tends to be experienced to the extent that he may feel he’s no longer needed in the relationship. And unfortunately he may seek out a relationship with another female (usually one that makes less money than his current partner; that is not as attractive; and certainly not as independent) resulting in infidelity or divorce. 

   For couples in healthy relationships, the woman making a higher salary than her man is not an issue. She doesn’t belittle him or constantly rub it in his face. They work together on all the trade-offs to include financial chores and divide them according to each partner’s strengths. The financial structure (which does not include allowances or having to ask each other for money) is established according to what works best for their particular situation. These women appreciate and respect their men as well as recognize that what their partners bring to the relationship is just as valuable as their own contribution. 

   Contact Dr. Wynn at Buckhead Family Life Specialists, P.O. Box 52372, Atlanta, GA 30355 or buckheadfamilylifespecialists@outlook.com

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